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  • Writer's pictureJackie Bankston

Chaotic With Purpose 2/2/2023

Hey, I thank God you have decided to join me on this journey!! Thank you for your support! I want to add, this is the day I got saved 3 years ago. God has changed me so much and I am filled with excitement and joy for the years to come! Gotta add this... Laaf In It! ("Laaf" still has a purpose, and I am waiting on the Lord to let you in! When he does, you WILL be blessed!)

This evening, on the way home, my daughter told me in a slight panic that she would have to learn three songs in three different languages before their performance in March. I thought to myself, “Surely, if she expects that from them then she MUST have a method to teach them, right? So, I told her, with full confidence in the teacher, that when the time came, she would be able to do it.

Holy Spirit said to me. “As you’ve placed faith in the teacher to have a method, trust me. Trust that YOU will be ready when the time comes.”

This, this was it. It was the word that cut me to my core. “I hear you, Lord. I trust you, Lord. I WILL be ready when you call me to the front line.”

Have you placed faith in someone to have a vehicle ready on time? Have you trusted yourself to complete an assignment on time? Do you place trust in your child’s teacher to have them ready in time? Why is it so difficult to believe that God could get us ready? I say “we”, because God has made me big promises, and I feel so small in comparison. But, I heard a preacher say last night, “When we feel like a 0, place it next to the 1 and you get 10. If you feel like 6 zeroes and you place them next to the 1, you get 1,000,000.” (Pearcy) Let that resonate with you. The worse we feel about who we are and the mistakes we’ve made, the more “valuable” he makes us. Who else but God?

Tonight I was in a hurry to get to a meeting, and I shoved my desk chair under my glass top desk. As I did, the entire glass slid and fell. With it, everything on my desk. When the noise subsided, I was able to assess the damage. The very mess that I’ve been neglecting and beating myself up for, the mess that made me roll my eyes thinking, “You’ve really got to clean up.” This very mess is what saved my glass from breaking. It saved it from shattering into a million little pieces. That mess protected it from even getting the smallest little crack.

God reminded me that he will take the very mess that I hate inside of me and use it. The ugliness that I have refused to forgive myself for. He can use that! He can turn that very mess into a blessing.

Do you remember Joseph? We talked about him a few nights ago in Broken Laafter 1/30/2023. He faced those same people who laughed and mocked him. Remember, the family that told him he was only a dreamer? When he faced these people, he had such humility and wisdom that he told those men the same thing we should tell our “mess”.

“You thought evil against me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.” Genesis 50:20

I love you in your mess as God loves me in mine! Please remember, it is okay to be okay.

Jacquelynn Marie

Ghost Written by Holy Spirit

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