top of page
  • Writer's pictureJackie Bankston

"I Wish"

God has been shining light on the dangers of addiction. Not the addiction of drug abuse. Not the addiction of alcohol abuse. No. He has been showing me the dangers of the addiction of control. God will sit back and allow us to “control” our environment. But, when it is time to answer the prayers we’ve been pleading for, don’t be surprised when he rips that control from us. The more we control to fix, the more we break. God does not fix in ways that we understand, so we can’t possibly fix things the way we would like. God sees the heart of every person in the equation. Not the perception they’ve shown us.

We fix by manipulation. We fix by suppressing. We fix by speaking out our opinions and beliefs. If we want things to truly be fixed, we pray.

Control is a dangerous addiction. I shake my head because I have a revelation. I pray and I pray and I pray. Then, he answers in ways that I cannot control. Then the enemy tells me to stop praying. Stop praying because I could have controlled life if I did not release the prayer in the first place. He can no longer sell me doubt about the power of prayer, so he attacks the way that I pray. “You did this! Stop praying because you see what your last prayer did!”

“No, Devil. I see a necessary position for the prayer to be answered!” It is a scary situation, but when we release hard, deep prayers, God will answer them.

For so many years I imagined God like the fairy god-mother. I say a prayer, well, a wish, and I believed that God would flick his wrist and the solution would be provided.

I don’t know why I have had this illusion. The Bible tells about God using men to pray. Moses was used to release the Israelites. The prophets were sent to warn people of war and famine. Jesus even became flesh. We are all born with a purpose. Let’s face it. God can speak to someone directly, but we are too stubborn to hear. Sometimes our worlds have to shake in order for us to seek the voice of God. I understand that it was necessary this time. God wants to heal and restore, but no one would listen. So, here we are. Prayers are being answered the hard way.

Many will say that God would never do this. Okay, let’s go with that. God would never do this. Well, he will still use it to answer the prayers that I have prayed. He will still use it to amplify His voice to the sinner and to heal the broken. God will use this situation to mend relationships. He will use this situation for salvation. His Kingdom will grow in the process.

He is not worried. He is not afraid. He will not be defeated. He knows the heart of every man. He will humble us. God is in control, not the circumstance.

If you have an addiction to control, it is only a matter of time before God shakes that control to answer your deepest prayers. You cannot do it. Therapy cannot do it alone. Listening to church cannot do it. God can. Do not state your opinion. Do not try to convince someone of a point of view. After all, this is not what matters. Only God knows the true heart of a person. Only God knows the brokenness that we have. It is an addiction, so it will not go lightly. But, recognize it and he can shift you. Step by step God will guide our steps. It is time to listen and obey. Decrease so he can increase.

19 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

Whirlwind: a column of air moving rapidly around and around in a cylindrical or funnel shape. After receiving prayer, the Pastor used a word that finally made sense to me tonight. She used the word “w

"The more you walk by faith, the less you'll need your sight." This was the main theme of a women's retreat that I went to a couple of years ago. There, I won a coffee mug that read the same thing on

bottom of page